What was your first reaction when there was a surge of Omicron cases? How did you feel when it is closer to home? Any insights that struck you from the experience?
When 2022 started with another curve ball with the surge of omicron, there was collective dampening of global energy that was palpable internally and externally. We can also observe the different ways how people reacted or responded to the same situation.
Let us step back from our experiences and look into ourselves.
Breathe. Pause. Reflect.
Dr. Stephen Covey’s influential book, “7Habits of Highly Effective People”, writes, “Consequences are governed by principle sand behavior is governed by values. Therefore, value principles.”
If the consequences of our behaviors are governed by principles, then it means when we are feeling anxious, depressed, joyful, or fulfilled then, we are either aligned or misaligned with principles. Furthermore, Dr. Covey states that principles are self-evident, natural laws that are unchangeable, timeless, and it will work whether we believe it or not. They have been woven into the fabric of societies throughout human history that transcends cultures and time. Thus, when our triggers get the better of us and we are suffering the consequences of our actions, it is helpful to pause and reflect what principles we may be forgetting or violating so we can reset.
Let us pause. What are we doing right now that is tripping and trapping us to be at a state where we feel and act like victims and not leaders of our lives? What are the Lies, Expectations, Armors, and Default Toxic Patterns that you have in your life? Let us use the acronym of L.E.A.D.
Lies - What unexamined beliefs and paradigms are we attached that is clouding the way we are showing up and how we feel about our relationships? Most likely, you are holding on to a value that is not aligned with a principle. Not all values are aligned to principles. How do you know? It will be reflected by what you are experiencing right now. We are wired to be connected. We are forgetting that our essence as human beings is Love, Peace, Calm, & Joy. It is our birth right! In layman’s terms, we all deserve to experience Joy right here, right now. We are always enough just as you are. When we have conditioned to the cultural lies that we are only enough when and if but not now then it automatically bring us to an undesirable state. If you are at this state, then it’s time to have a brutal, honest assessment of what beliefs are you so attached to. As Jane Austen quote, “If I am wrong, I am doing what I believe to be right.” Are you so convinced that you are right and the other is wrong? Then, a core principle that you are probably forgetting is that we are all one. No one is better than or less than another. We may be distinct in gender, age, religion but that’s only in the form-based level; however, in the spiritual realm, there is no hierarchy and we are one. Just notice the usual conflicts that bring big emotional reaction from you. What underlying beliefs disconnect you from another? So, what lies are you attached to?
Expectations and Enmeshment- What expectations have you formed that is causing you not to be grounded in your present moment? Are you still hanging on to a fantasy picture of what should be? Are you clear and have made it clear with others about what’s ok and not ok? What is stopping you from forming and keeping your boundaries and honoring the boundaries of others?
Avoiding and Armor– We have different coping mechanisms when we do not feel safe and when we are uncertain. Most of the time we either avoid or armor up. It is our self-defense mechanism that we have learned since we were children. Most of the time, we are not even aware of them and it has become hard-wired in our nervous system that we are unconscious of them. You most likely have unhealthy habits that you find yourself overexplaining to justify why you are doing them or just completely avoiding those hard conversations with excuses for a better timing. As Brene Brown states in her book, “Atlas of the Heart”, “People will do almost anything to not feel pain, including causing pain and abusing power.” We need to be more aware and vulnerable to check if our behaviors are just a form of escape or armor to avoid pain and create a faux safety.
Default toxic patterns and Disconnection - We live our life in patterns. There are an amalgam of things happening with us biologically, biographically, behaviorally, and backstories that we are refusing to change because to change actually means to die to our old ways and that again is painful and hard because pain is our portal to our growth and evolution.
Do these resonate with you? Which areas do you feel strong about that you would like to address?
Are you ready to take charge and accept these principles? These are 4 principles that you need to set camp, ponder & align yourself with. Let us use CAMP as our guide.
Conscious Awareness: that we are the co-owners and co-creators of our moment and that we are all one and interconnected.
Acceptance of the As Is: What we resist, persists. We need to be fully present right here, right now. Are you stuck in past thinking or already in future thinking?
Mastery through practice: Without consistent action, even our good intentions will just remain as wishful thinking. What small habits can you start now?
Purpose-driven: Actions that are not aligned on principles and clear intentions will lose traction. Are you clear with your end in mind?
With these principles, are you ready to take it further? What are the language and skills we need to learn to co-create an EDGE and get ourselves unstuck and inspired for action? We need to feel the edges in our actions so we don’t slump into our comfort zones. What are these EDGE that we can learn?
Embodied Connection– connection with our bodies and awareness with the stories it creates in our mind rooted in our childhood experiences;
Discipline and Depersonalization – curiosity and detachment from our Lies, Enmeshments, Armors, and Default toxic patterns by connecting to Conscious Awareness, Acceptance of the As Is, Mastery through practice, and clarity & constant alightment of Purpose;
Gratitude and Grounded Confidence – building our gratitude muscle starts with acceptance and love for ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses that builds our courage to show up even without guaranteed results and melt our egos to humility;
Equanimity, Empassion, and Engaged Flow – the process to our edge will help us remain calm within the storm, start with self-love (compassion) that creates empathy for others (“empassion”) that opens floodgates to engaged flow.
Don’t be on the edge about it, we need to be the E.D.G.E.!
For more information to develop these EDGE skills and language,
Visit www.consciousalchemy.me and we have programs for all ages and stages of life
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Don’t be the Edge, connect now!